Opinionated Driver Pillows

"The way I see it...politics is a lot like driving a car..."

Car wash / Mouth wash

"We need to talk about your driving. Some of your passengers have been complaining."

'That tut, tut sound when you park..? It's your husband.'

Mysteries of Life

'We'd like a GPS device that would direct us to affordable gas.'

"I think I'm getting road rage."

"Excuse me, do you have a minute for someone other than yourself you selfish bastard?"

"They should stand."

"Do you sell backup cameras?"

Dartford Crossing, Pay in Advance for your Inevitable Queue.

Man driving in tree to wife: 'I think we're lost.'

Right lane ends 500 feet. . .Cheer up - it begins again 3 miles.

Andrew's own nose cuts him off just to spite his face.

Car sign reads: 'How's my wife's driving?'

'I'm not a bad driver, they're bad pedestrians.'

'Hey, you just cut me off!'

'I don't care what you say lad.....I say he was speeding!'

Speed Bump

"Take two, twice a day to help control rage. By the way, I put them in a child-proof bottle and overcharged you."

Get You Home Tow Truck.

"Flashed again....Anyone would think I was on full beam!"

Road sign at busy junction reads: 'Give Up'.

Traffic jam - 'I wish I could go fast enough to get caught by a speed camera.'

What women believe vs. what men believe.

"You can't just say you 'heard' something. Yu have to say whether you liked it or not!"

"Glasses? Oh heavens no - just get super obnoxious LED lights and drive with your brights on."

Bug on the windshield.

NO PARKING, from here to eternity.

'How come all the bad drivers follow you around?'

'I just want to know where I can find a parking space in the city centre this afternoon.'

'...somebody must be making a fortune!'

'If you don't like the way I drive, get off my pavement.'

"I can't wait till somebody forgets to dim his headlights!"