Opinionated Driver Pillows

"The way I see it...politics is a lot like driving a car..."

Car wash / Mouth wash

"We need to talk about your driving. Some of your passengers have been complaining."

Installing one of the new 'Buck Bridges' reduced Bob's auto insurance by 21%.

'That tut, tut sound when you park..? It's your husband.'

Mysteries of Life

'We'd like a GPS device that would direct us to affordable gas.'

"Excuse me, do you have a minute for someone other than yourself you selfish bastard?"

"They should stand."

"I think I'm getting road rage."

'I don't care what you say lad.....I say he was speeding!'

'I'm not a bad driver, they're bad pedestrians.'

Car sign reads: 'How's my wife's driving?'

"Do you sell backup cameras?"

Right lane ends 500 feet. . .Cheer up - it begins again 3 miles.

Man driving in tree to wife: 'I think we're lost.'

Dartford Crossing, Pay in Advance for your Inevitable Queue.

Andrew's own nose cuts him off just to spite his face.

Dear Sadie, Coke or Pepsi? Actual reader question. You're really asking that questions? The answer is so obvious: Coke! Or Pepsi. Definitely Pepsi! What's important in my line of work is not the answer but how strongly you express it. Send questions to asksadiesho@gmail.com

'Hey, you just cut me off!'

Speed Bump

"Take two, twice a day to help control rage. By the way, I put them in a child-proof bottle and overcharged you."

Road sign at busy junction reads: 'Give Up'.

"Flashed again....Anyone would think I was on full beam!"

Traffic jam - 'I wish I could go fast enough to get caught by a speed camera.'

What women believe vs. what men believe.

"You can't just say you 'heard' something. Yu have to say whether you liked it or not!"

"Glasses? Oh heavens no - just get super obnoxious LED lights and drive with your brights on."

Get You Home Tow Truck.

NO PARKING, from here to eternity.

Bug on the windshield.

'How come all the bad drivers follow you around?'

'I just want to know where I can find a parking space in the city centre this afternoon.'

"I can't wait till somebody forgets to dim his headlights!"

'If you don't like the way I drive, get off my pavement.'