Driving Critic Pillows

'Are you back or front seat driving?'

Speed Bump

'That tut, tut sound when you park..? It's your husband.'

'No, don't tell me, your electric garage door is broken.'

Man helping a mini learner driver

I love my motor.

"Oh look, that police car is chasing someone! Let me get out of his way. Hmm...he's still behind me. Let me move... That's odd....he's still behind me. I'll move over another lane."

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

"You can turn your blinker off now, Senator."

Stone Age Driving Test

"I won't go near one of those driver-less things until they iron out the bugs."

"I failed driver's ed....Apparently there's like this rule about rear-ending a police car!"

Student tower pulling along a student driver.

'I had to go that fast in order to keep that nut from passing me!'

"You're very courteous for a hog"

'I need to work a different shift.'

"And now I'd like you to eat a chicken and mayonnaise sandwich shile answering your mobile."

'How was my emergency stop?'

'It's green, you color-blind, flea-bitten bonehead! Where'd you learn to drive?'

'We'd like to take it for a test drive.'

For Those Who Don't Feel That Driving School Is Quite Enough, There's...Driver's University

"Could we try parking again please, Mr. Zog?"

"I want you to stop giving my son homework."

" I won't ask how your first lesson went."

'I want some lessons in back seat driving.'

"Today we're learning how to simultaneously drive and talk on the cell phone!"

Insensitive driving school - 'That was crap.'

"So, it wasn't a typo then?!"

Section 21, Paragraph B: When two or more vehicles come to a stop simultaneously, the most expansive vehicle enjoys the right of way.

Car on exit ramp crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

'This car drives so smooth it feels like we're flying.'

'Behind the wheel, Dr Jekyll is a totally different personality.'

Your driving is good, but as I've got an inbuilt bias I'm failing you