Opinion Virtuoso Gifts

Armchair quarterback/Armchair everything

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"It's a play on words."

An informed voter is a good voter

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

Thesaurus Company

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

"My nephew Jack here can say ‘I’m unemployed’ in seven languages."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"Why do people think using big words is a bad thing?"

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

'Sometimes, from time to time, occasionally I wish I'd never bought that ruddy thesaurus!'

Dictionary. It's a cordless spell checker!

'All in favor of my idea say 'Aye.' All opposed, say 'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers' ten times real fast.'

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

Like many kids, Bobby had an imaginary friend. Unfortunately for Bobby, he was a critic.

Bookworm group

Sign on Roget's Thesaurus, Inc.: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

Jasper Coot: 'Osama shoulda named me to the Supreme Court! I ain't no judge, so I'm qualified! Hell. I ann't even a damn lawyer! But Lord knows, I am judgemental!

Leonard Cohen

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

'The chechako sparged rhamnose into his yerba.'

'I'm afraid the motion has been carried and you lost.'

When English majors become waiters.

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'