Speech Virtuoso Gifts

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"It's a play on words."

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

Thesaurus Company

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'My client has no problem with 'richer' and 'in health'. Our points of contention are 'poorer' and 'in sickness'.'

"My nephew Jack here can say ‘I’m unemployed’ in seven languages."

"Whine and cheezed party."

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

"Why do people think using big words is a bad thing?"

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

'Sometimes, from time to time, occasionally I wish I'd never bought that ruddy thesaurus!'

"Dad, is there a word that contains all the vowels?"

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

Bookworm group

Sign on Roget's Thesaurus, Inc.: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

"By the way, about your presentation...Management has made a surprise visit."

'The chechako sparged rhamnose into his yerba.'

'They decided to immure the ladrone in a drogue.'

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

When English majors become waiters.

Armchair quarterback/Armchair everything

"...and are you, Jessica, committed to this bit?"

Roget's Brontosaurus.