Operating Theatre Gifts

"You don't think his stitches are TOO tight,do you?"

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

"Will someone be completing my surgery?"

Felix Mendelssohn

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'Our interns work extremely long hours. The harness will help keep them awake during your operation.'

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

'Pardon me, Doctor; but exactly where did you study anaesthesiology?'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

Eager to get back out but want to limit your exposure? Come to Barry's barbershop, restaurant, gym 'n cinema.

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

Damn defibrillators.

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

'Say, please.'

"And it'll stay clamped until you play my Usher CD."

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

'Every new neurosurgery intern has to make the joke about the patient having an 'open mind' but then they get over it.'

'Notice how I stare at the forms like I'm actually reading them... and generally moving very slowly so I'm a little further behind schedule as the day progresses.'

Hazing - In the Vienna Philharmonic

'Doctor, I don't think the five-second rule applies to transplant organs.'

'Say, aren't you the building inspector who gave us such a hard time when we were building a house last year?'

'You're wrong...this is brain surgery.'

"You know that feeling when you walk into a room and can't remember why you're there..."

True Love

'Lunch!'

Ludwig van Beethoven

Purple dress

The Surgeon Finds the Source of the Problem

'Forgive the interruption, but can the surgeon wait until after he operates on me to play his chess.'

"Okay go ahead, but I say the appendix is on the right."