Operating Table Wit Gifts

Damn defibrillators.

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

Failure/Due Diligence

In and Out Sourced.

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

'It's not surprising. The production department is in Spain, the warehouse is in Korea, the accounting division is in Bolivia, the board of directors is in Canada.'

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

"The torch is passed, but since the company is going green, I'm passing a high efficiency, solar powered multi LEC prism spotlight."

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'Our interns work extremely long hours. The harness will help keep them awake during your operation.'

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

Supply Chain

'I think I found the bottleneck, Boss.'

"We are extremely short-staffed here and you would need to be okay with that. For example I’m the janitor, but I also do interviews in between emptying trash cans."

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

'We need to schedule a few impromptu meetings...'

"We need to eliminate the middleman."

"Well in our defence we did get the numbers right they were just in the wrong order!"

Cheap Labour Countries.

Janet always was ahead of the curve...she outsourced herself.

"How flexible are we on the issue of flex time?"

"Amazon wants to open a facility here due to our friendly labor environment."

"We're going to have to save some money...and one way is to rewrite the rules on expenses claim."

Very fat 'Office' facing more waiters with trays of demand

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."