Operating Systems Gifts

'No, I switched to Apple for SAFETY reasons! Every time I use a Windows computer, I get an insane urge to fly into the monitor!'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

Computer Room.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

Moses on the web

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

"It seems as if the people taking my software class are getting younger and younger."

Mozart on a computer,

"Why do you need so many computers?" "One for billing, one for stock control, one for human resources, one for financial management..."

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

"There, all neat and tidy!"

'Is this the new input device?'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'Hey...remember T.V.?

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS