Operating System Whisperer Gifts

'Which of us can resist the technological advance?'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

Fixing the Computer.

Computer help.

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Man and Machine snoozing

"I'm really great thanks. The boss loves my ideas, he says I'm ahead of my time!" "Hi John, how are you? Good meeting?"

"Love your feng shui!"

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'Right here is where your imaging data is clogging up all of your bandwidth.'

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

"Tell the employees that from now I want them to do as I say, not as I do."

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

'The contractor didn't do windows.'

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

Plug Me In Stupid

'I understand yours is a highly coveted position in this company.'

Cellular Plan

"Go! Go! Go! Go!" The hot video game where you're a peacemaker who disarms everyone in sight and sells them on the virtues of nonviolent communication.

'I think our filing system is a little too obvious.'

'Noise? When you've been married as long as I have, it goes in one ear and out the other.'

G.P.S. satellites gone bad

"I keep getting the feeling I’m being watched."

Factory foreman says: 'Sometimes the machines here do try to take over the world. Last week the coffee maker even had a go.'