Operating Room Raconteur Gifts

"Oh no .. Where's my ponytale ribbon?"

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

'In the doctor's defense, there have been no serious post operative complications.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'Pardon me, Doctor; but exactly where did you study anaesthesiology?'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

'Say, please.'

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

Surgeon Finds Heart Reading 'Be my Valentine'.

Nurse cautioning a patient

'Where's the first-aid kit?'

'Doctor, I don't think the five-second rule applies to transplant organs.'

'You're wrong...this is brain surgery.'

"I can catch-you can't throw."

The Grim Reaper as a surgical assistant.

"You know that feeling when you walk into a room and can't remember why you're there..."

"He did it again. Slipped out and replaced himself with a bunch of lumpy pillows."

Operating table.

'There's a cake in the Drs. lounge. Happy 5,000th surgery!'

'Lunch!'

"Hold it. I'd like a second opinion!"

"Curl your fingers to avoid cuts when slicing or chopping...I learned that trick on a TV cooking show!"

'Forgive the interruption, but can the surgeon wait until after he operates on me to play his chess.'

'I'm going to administer the anaesthetic.' - 'Okay.' - 'You might feel a little prick in your hand...' - '...as the bishop said to the-' - 'Men are less irritating under anaesthetic.' - 'Zzz...'

"Okay go ahead, but I say the appendix is on the right."