Open Mic Night Lover Gifts

'Did you notice they seemed in a great hurry to see the back of us tonight?'

Zombie standup

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Do you mind?"

The Stat-shoe of Liberty.

Pyjama party

Bryan Ferry

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

"'Tis the story of a woeful refugee... ...whose plight has been forgotten. An admirable, amiable sort is he... but boy is he downtrodden. With courage of the kind you rarely see, he defended this land, when Redcoats invaded over land and sea, peck their knees and hands. And how did America repay this debt it owed its forest bird? Did you put our noble visage on the national seal as we would have preferred? No... You ate us. Just like the British did. I really think that it's the least you can do

"Another round of banana daiquiris for the lovely lady and I, please!"

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

'S'more wine?'

Wait – is that your dad? Tunnel of Love.

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

"Got him up at the stadium, Chief. It was Yankee Duck Day."

"Hey. We’re in the doghouse every night. That’s the beauty of it."

"I'm just not in an Australian-movie mood, O.K.?"

"I like Chardonnay, but I like saying 'Pinot Grigio.'"

City centre pub.

Chairs - a bar where everybody has a seat!

'When you're swimming at night and something gives you a bite, it's a Moray! You think it's a seal but it's really an eel, it's a Moray!'

'That was a great movie! Want to watch another video, dear?'

'Do you want to see a movie tonight?'

Sacrlet harlot.

"Ça suffit, good buddy!"

"Shall we have 'Glorious B****rds' next"

"This song asks the musical question: "Can anyone here show me how to play an e-minor chord?"

"Charley horse! Charley horse! Charley horse! Charleee!!"

Open Mike Night Presents the Comedy Stylings of Rudy Park. Did you hear about the iPhone that hired the best wedding planner in the country because it wanted a great reception? Clap. And then there was the autocorrect programmer who got rejected when he asked a lady out on a debate. The romance didn't last long when the cable tv box found out how spacey the satellite tv box was. Get off the stage! The one who invented binary code was a real zero. Boo. Hiss. I don't even get that one, and I'm gla

Open mike night presents: Rudy Park. You done left me alone … Cut out when I needed you most. How brightly we'd have shone … had you not given up the ghost. I done loved you baby. Now I just feel so bad-n-used. I'm a-goin' crazy … I got me the laptop low-battery life blues. That portable never loved you, honey child!

Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen in: Changing Seasons. Does life affirm with coming fall? Leaved hit the ground, men huddle. Smashing each other over a ball. Wrestling around in a puddle. Huh? In this potpourri of hulky sights, one image is hardly the least, sir. So many changes, so many nights ... to see Eli Manning's keister. The bard of NY Giants football. Beautiful. Disgusting.

Laugh Laff. If laughter is the best medicine, this guy's a placebo.

'You had me at 'warning'.'

'Compliments of the gentleman at the end of the bar.'