Oops Moment Collector Pillows

One person interprets Bring Your Own Bottle into Bring Your Own Bible.

Showbiz Awards

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

"It was romantic during dinner, but now it's getting kind of creepy."

Clown's Cuckoo Clock.

When we met, you told me you make a lousy first impression. Well, guess what: You also make a lousy second impression. Actually, my only decent impression is Kirk Douglas. Wanna hear it?

'...Couldn't you just get pictures for your desk?'

Would madam like me to send over the sympathy steward?

A boy with a camera

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

The awkwardness of one's first officeplace fist-bump.

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

"Erm, I don't think it meant just before the ceremony!!"

"Such a cute doggie! And I'll bet you make the cutest poopies too, don't you?"

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

The Consequences of an Interrupted Shower.

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

"Say these things, don't think them!"

Speed Dating Disasters

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

"I dooon't know this sooonngg. I'm just heeeere with my daaaaaughter and her frieeeends."

"Are you blushing?!"

"How embarrassing, I'm literally glued to the television."

'By the way Adrian, it unfastens at the front.'

"Not wearing deodorant is not what I meant by 'respect the local customs'"

"Well...this meeting is about...ummhh...structure and...ummhhh...preparation. Well...ummhh...at least I think so..."

"‘How is everything?’ Well, I don’t think everything is going very well … but my pasta is excellent, thank you."

'It's our first date. You don't know me well enough to ask if I'm getting enough fiber.'

"Are you regular?" "Every morning at 6AM." "That's good." "But I don't wake up until 7."