Only Child Dilemma Club Gifts

"Life as I know it is over! My mom's going to have another baby... I'm no longer their pride and joy!"

Worry tank

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

Can't read 'SLOW'.

'Shh, let me do the talking.'

"Well, one good thing about summer...is I work more hours and make a lot more money. The bad thing is...I have a lot more free time to spend it all."

Human Error and Computer Error.

Future beauty pageant contestants' Christmas wish.

'Murdock oversleeps every day - He's always an accessory AFTER the fact.'

"If you can't sleep you may as well be productive and guard the meth lab."

Insomniacs Anonymous - No Snoring

'Toss 'em here.....I'll work them into my show!'

'Please miss, can I be Herod?'

'What do you mean, you can't look at the Milky Way because you're lactose-intolerant?'

"We think it's important to meet the parents of our daughter's bad influences."

"I was expelled from reform school."

"I don't understand, it got 5 stars on the travel website."

'My mother signed my report card, but it got smudged by her tears.'

"I'm not my father's favourite."

"My dad isn't going to like this. It has 'average' written all over it."

"Jessica Jo's white, Tucker's black, Tag's white, Pepper's red, Peekay is gray, Junie is gray, Jamie's brown – and, by the way, Jessica Jo is gifted."

"I could really use some mail companionship."

"What do you do when you can't sleep?"

'Your resume seems in order, Mr Lupo, but would you explain exactly why you want to work here? Mr Lupo?'

My mother wants to speack to you about being more attentive to the behavior of students on the bus.

'Cow's milk? Where am I going to get cow's milk?'

"If we're going dairy-free, does that mean you-know-who goes back to the barn?"

"I don't know, Tia Carmen. All these outside forces influencing Baldo and Gracie...they scare me. Bad TV, crazy friends, drugs everywhere..."

Allotment owners AGM - 'Rhubarb, rhubarb,rhubarb,...'