Online Veteran Gifts

"For my 15 minutes of fame I've gotten 60 days of social media abuse."

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

Video Henge: made from melting and molding 3,000,000 obsolete VCR tapes.

Second lifeReal life.

"Dad's got a promotion. How can now mute middle management."

"People of Earth – can everyone see my screen?"

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"But rather than me just sitting here talking, why don't we watch this video of me sitting here talking?"

Negative Interest Meeting

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

Come to bed, Snookums. In a minute. Are you still playing Scrabble? And flaming my opponents. I just crushed an eight-year-old by 100 points and then told him his parents don't love him because he's illiterate! How nice you've found a hobby. I feel so nurtured.

"I have a right to disagree! You can't force me to use logic."

"When I was young, we made statements using signs and marches!"

We have your internet connection.

"We need to talk about your Zoom presence."

"Sorry, guys, forgot I was back in the office."

Net Bubbie

"Could you continue to work from home? We're enjoying not having you in the office."

"Ok, everybody set for that Zoom call?"

Historic Medical Moments: The first time a body rejected a heart before it was transplanted.

'There goes Mr. Mookwon. He's been here simply for ages.'

Working from home.

'Close the chat room and start your homework or I'll pull the plug and switch you to America Off-line.'

'In dog years, I'm 49, but in internet chat room years, I'm only 21.'

"Before remote teaching, this would've been three days off."

March of the Zoombies.

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it's met its match.

"Stop pouting, Randy. You've survived other Internet outages before."

'The genius is that WiFi only stays on for seconds at a time.'

I wish I could experience a normal, social interaction...

Breakout Room

"Now that the crisis is over, we can go back to our usual inefficiencies."

"That's the fifth customer this morning - video calling the doctor's surgery because of Covid restrictions."

'This is fun, Dad -- I'm in a flame war with Vladimir Putin!'

Joe Biden Articulates His Plan for the Coronavirus