Online Security Warrior Pillows

"I understand your concern, but you don't have to wear that suit when getting on a public website. That's not how germs are spread."

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

Second lifeReal life.

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

"Hack back with all you've got!"

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."

'If someone sent an email and the National Security Agency did not spy on it, would it still be an email?'

'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'

'The best way to protect your privacy is through a flood of misinformation obscuring the truth.'

"He's just discovered that out 450,000 blog rebuttal campaign was directed against a 12 year old in Swindon using his mums computer."

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

"We understand you're not happy with our privacy policy."

"Didn't anyone ever warn you about opening an e-mail from someone you don't know?"

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

"I have a right to disagree! You can't force me to use logic."

"We don't need a digital security guard. Hackers don't actually come to our house."

"Look, he's got his blanket. He's doing a secure search."

'I'm pleased to announce the newly-created 'Office of Homepage Security' - to protect against computer hackers.'

'I think your firewall is turned up too high!'

"To prove I'm human, and not a spam bot, this site wants me to solve the mystery of the universe. Why couldn't they just ask if fire is hot or cold?"

"I'm sorry your password needs to include upper & lower case letters & at least one number."

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

"I typed the incorrect password for my online banking so much that not only did they lock me out - they locked me up."

"Ms Hathaway, I need to test my mettle. Find someone on social media who thinks they can bully me."

Meta data retention.

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