Online Scholar Gifts

'Ever since she got that MBA on the Internet, she's been impossible to live with.'

"Your eight year old brother took the same course online at home and got an 'A'."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Eternal Student.

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

Type A Freshman - changed courses four times, got a job, organized a protest, quit the job, plans to take second semester abroad.

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

'Irwin graduates from an online course today.'

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

K9 Literati

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

'An encyclopedia? I don't know. Let's look up what it is on Wikipedia.'

An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding as written and as it would have been written if David Hume had invested in a word processor,

"Have you been working out?"

"Must be another paradigm shift."

Wikipedia...

'I finished my homework, and half my college freshman courses.'

'Read that last part back to me.'

"Thanks to the Internet, I learned to ride a bike. Since I was bored, I also got my pilot's license."

'Relax, dad, I haven't been in a classroom for months because all my college classes are online!'

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

Romans.

'Thirty years in academia and all I got was this chair.'

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

Petrarch

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

"If history has taught us anything, it's taught us that there have been a ridiculous number of books written about history."

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

"If you prayed to Google instead of God, you might get a constructive response."