Online Scholar Gifts

'Ever since she got that MBA on the Internet, she's been impossible to live with.'

"Your eight year old brother took the same course online at home and got an 'A'."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Eternal Student.

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....

Type A Freshman - changed courses four times, got a job, organized a protest, quit the job, plans to take second semester abroad.

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

'Irwin graduates from an online course today.'

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

K9 Literati

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

'An encyclopedia? I don't know. Let's look up what it is on Wikipedia.'

"Have you been working out?"

"Must be another paradigm shift."

School. Learning is a lifelong process. It's only the graduation ceremonies that end.

An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding as written and as it would have been written if David Hume had invested in a word processor,

Wikipedia...

'I finished my homework, and half my college freshman courses.'

'Read that last part back to me.'

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

"Thanks to the Internet, I learned to ride a bike. Since I was bored, I also got my pilot's license."

"Fifty years in academia, studying, researching, writing and teaching. And what do they call me? ‘The Human AI’."

'Relax, dad, I haven't been in a classroom for months because all my college classes are online!'

'Thirty years in academia and all I got was this chair.'

Romans.

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

"If you prayed to Google instead of God, you might get a constructive response."

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'