Online Over-sharer Pillows

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

"I'd appreciate a little more reacting to my ranting."

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

"I just completely disagree with what you just said about America lacking focus."

"First of all, this conversation never happened."

"Not many of you may agree with me..."

"Bob's into politics. Date Night is more like Debate Night."

"Oh, Herb. Not Another Open Letter To Miley Cyrus."

"The problem is: reasonable men may differ on what the hell reason is!"

"Thank you for participating in this poll, but because your answers do not coincide with your social media rantings, you're obviously lying."

FRIENDLY BAR: Gently confirming your every opinion since 1957.

Night of the Living Well-Read

"As you can see this is pretty embarrassing so I'd appreciate keeping it between you, me and this fence post."

'She blogged her first word today.'

"I can't wait to put this on my blog!"

"Your daughter has 'I have something to share' syndrome."

Ear Bud Hijacking

"We'll you're never gonna get it."

'And the public is protected from your tweets.'

"Katharine, I'm going to be completely frank about the film, even though you bought the tickets."

Grandma's Cupcakes And Details About My Foot Surgery

"Never be afraid to take me into your confidence, Sally, I'm very partial to stoolies."

"My outlandish political delusions are WAY more reasonable than yours!"