Online Marketer Pillows

"Good afternoon, Ted. I'm your online presence."

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

What the Person Sitting Next to You at Starbucks is 'Working On'

"It's a content farm!!!!"

'What happened to that lemonade stand of yours?' 'I decided to sell it on Ebay...'

He's just discovereed that our £450,000 blog rebuttal campaign was directed against a 12 year old in swindon using his mum's computer.

'hold the blog - I got a bargain in the sales'

How to Make Money On-Lion

The Idiot's Guide to Being an Idiot.

Lynching on social media

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Online form - Submit.

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

Evolution.

"You know, there are other emojis."

Likes: $2.

'Homepage Sweet Homepage'

Obsession with the Internet.

"It's OK to close tabs. Just click on it. Once you realize that you don't need that many open, it'll get easier. You can do this!"

A secretary at a desk with a nameplate the says Dot Com.

I should probably get out more.

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

Connected to Technology.

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

Person with eyes focused on a computer screen.

"The video of you eating my $700 John Varvatos got 300 'likes.'"

"It's not an actual hotdog, but digital ownership in a picture of an actual hotdog."

Man doing a search on a computer

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"