Online Explorer Gifts

'Why is my site always the caboose on every search engine?'

"Keep your eyes on your own screen."

Last nail in the coffin of print media

'In dog years, I'm 49, but in internet chat room years, I'm only 21.'

'And whenever I attempt cybersex, my computer freezes.'

"That was before I found this amazing new way to earn $$$ working from home."

"Are we there yet, Dad?"

'These online fantasy worlds are great fun. I can be ‘Dave the Accountant' from Birmingham.'

"Mom, can we get a pet so I can use its name in answering a password security question?"

"I may have been the runt of the litter, but online I'm the alpha dog."

"Here lies Barry and his several social media identities."

"Your web shopping data and browser history tell a very different story."

"After looking up my password, completing two-step verification, and proving I'm not a robot, I forget why I went to this website!"

"I don't go to school. I'm getting my kindergarten degree online."

'I'm alright thanks, I'm just browsing!'

Black Sheep

Little Bo-Peep searching for her sheep.

'Good to see you're not one of the predators I have to worry about online...'

Online Banking - Usurer-Friendly.

"The only time I feel a true sense of peace is when I post all this on social media."

'Isn't this cool? I ordered 'em all over the internet!'

Don Quixote's Searches of Dulcinea

'How's my social networking?'

'The facts of life? Sure -- just type in this URL.'

Computer filth.

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

"And you say you did your leadership training online!"

'Today we learned if it ain't on Google, it ain't worth knowing.'

Social Media

"Grandad likes to keep himself mentally active by masquerading as a state-sponsored, anonymous Russian troll bot."

"I'm sorry dad but I've found a better father figure online."

'Since I lost my passwords and can't go online anymore, I feel kind of invisible and banished, honey...honey?...honey??!'

"Now you can buy stuff online while you get your cash. It's called Amazon total Marketing."

"Cheap flights on the internet? You've never shown any interest in darts before!"

"Do you have a link I can click on that removes me from all future conversations with you?"