Online Discussers Gifts

"If God had meant for man to interact rationally He wouldn't have given them internet forums."

The Proust of Twitter

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

Blog Breakdown

I've founded my own religion. Of course you have, Rudy. It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths. If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted. What are the central tenets of your religion? A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation.

Social Notworking

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

Too many people post comments in the heat of anger. They strike while the ire is hot!

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comment section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"I learned my social skills on social media. . . what's it to you anyway you stupid cow?!"

Unsocial Networking.

"How's your lowrider blog going?"

"Not now, honey. Daddy's arguing with strangers about the sexual orientation of puppets."

To tweet, or not to tweet - that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the snark and the venomous replies of anonymous jerks

The First Asshole

Turn on chat. Delete conversation.

"I can tell you about this article or you can just read the comments online."

"Your difficulty communicating how you really feel, is because of your inherent inability to display complex emotion."

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

"Thank you for participating in this poll, but because your answers do not coincide with your social media rantings, you're obviously lying."

Oh no! What's wrong? I tweeted a sarcastic insult about Brian Blount, my nemesis in the race for class president. So? So … the sarcasm didn't come through. All my followers think I was praising him. Oh. Yeah, well sarcasm's tricky online. Oh no! My followers are confused about where my loyalties lie. Oh no! Some of them are calling me a sellout. They're saying they're disillusioned! Oh no! Now they've split into two factions, those who say I'm a sellout and those who say maybe Brian Blount isn't

"Hmm... I wonder what I can find to trigger my self-righteous indignation today..?"

Every man and his dog gets to have an opinion on social media.

"It's lunchtime! Have you finished saying 'Good Morning' on your WhatsApp Groups?"

Maybe Those Bots Can Be Used for Good

"Great! Now I'm torn between whether to post rants on X or Meta."

"They're powered by Internet outrage."

"It's the first law of social media."

"Bile exits the gallbladder, passes through the cystic duct, gets released into the intestines, and, ultimately, winds up on the Internet."

'I didn't know there WAS an 'idle gossip dot com.''

Humpty Dumpty sat on a paywall.

"The hive mind has reached a consensus about 'Wolverine'."

"You never told me what you thought of 'Wolverine.'" "I was waiting." "For what?" "For the consensus." "My own immediate reaction to any piece of entertainment could be biased. I need to read tweets and posts before I settle on a verdict." "If my view differs too much from the hive mind, it's not valid."