Internet Debater Gifts

"It's the first law of social media."

'Aren't the Republicans in congress already doing that?'

"Every time I get out of my political silo and try to converse respectfully with someone who has differing views, I get whacked so hard I can't see straight!"

Possible diversity of genders in online discussion.

To tweet, or not to tweet - that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the snark and the venomous replies of anonymous jerks

Oh no! What's wrong? I tweeted a sarcastic insult about Brian Blount, my nemesis in the race for class president. So? So … the sarcasm didn't come through. All my followers think I was praising him. Oh. Yeah, well sarcasm's tricky online. Oh no! My followers are confused about where my loyalties lie. Oh no! Some of them are calling me a sellout. They're saying they're disillusioned! Oh no! Now they've split into two factions, those who say I'm a sellout and those who say maybe Brian Blount isn't

Andy Rooney: 'Ever wonder how it might affect your legacy if you get a lot internet credit for stuff you never said?'

In the Old Days Disabling Comments Was Easy.

"I'm glad Baldo got that computer...it's such a wonderful educational tool."

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

Latest social media panic...

"Yet... my conservative views are deleted."

The Internet

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Dialogue

The Proust of Twitter

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

"Now that's a win."

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

"On the contrary, Bosworth, it's YOU who has lost all perspective."

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

Oz Debating Society. You can't refute everything I say just by call it a "straw man" argument.

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

Science Snobs

A bunch of global warming skeptics want to join eco club. It's a school organization. You have to let them in. But they just want to harass us with selective facts! Today: Eco club. So? Debate is good. You have :An Inconvenient Truth" to counter their arguments. Oh. Great. Now we'll have to read it.

Debating Society. I can accept that money is speech as long as we can agree that some spending is like yelling fire in a theater.

Like Minded

And now, for a rebuttal.