Online Deal Seeker Gifts

"We're not invading the planet. We bought it on eBay."

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'What do you do with the time you save?'

(Visual gag) Wellard's annual BIG HANDBAG SALE!! A woman is dragging a huge bag out from a bag shop

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

"How soon will this be a remnant

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

"I just..."

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

That's supposed to say garage sale!

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

"The pizza came late and it was cold!"

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

Online Shopping.

"While you make the sales presentation, Monica. I'll scope out the room and try to identify this company's Achilles heel!"

"All it takes is a little marketing, Tia Carmen!"

Unusual Offers

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"I thought the travel agent said 40% off."

"Do kids eat free?"

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

Free Printer with Purchase of Ink

'Take five Harry, I'm going on ahead to scout for sales'

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'