Online Dating Milestone Gifts

Computer dating.

"The bastard told me he was a pilot."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

Right click for yes...

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Romance

"You've changed."

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

Couples' therapy

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

'You look gorgeous, honey! I love it when you wear your tentacles 'up'.'

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

Sally and Joe's relationship really worked. . . they each had the space to do their own thing.

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'I think I have found Mr. Right.'

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

"We love each other very much, and we concur on alcohol and coffee. But we're unable to come to an agreement on meat and fish."