Online Dating Success Gifts

'We met online and straight away we just had this amazing connection...'

'You look exactly like your website.'

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

Right click for yes...

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

"You may now kiss the bride."

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Today's love

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

'Your website or mine?'

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

"Everybody meets online these days."

cuPad

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

"It must have been fate that brought us together."

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

"We met the old fashioned way – online, in a chat room."

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'