Online Daters Gifts

'You enjoy jogging, and you have a flare for the gourmet?...Seriously? You chase cars, and I've seen you eat out of trash cans. You have to be honest on these dating sites, dude!'

Right click for yes...

"You may now kiss the bride."

Cupid Co. Valentine's Day Special Offer. For centuries Cupid had a monopoly in the falling in love business. But dating apps were making him obsolete. So he formed a company combining his matchmaking knowledge with online marketing techniques. Perhaps the biggest factor in the enormous success of Cupid Co. is the no questions asked return policy when a customer thinks an item is not as advertised.

"I'm looking for someone who werjt23609ui45y7ijopgreop[yt thinks it's cute that cat ran across the keys and I left it in."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

cuPad

"Everybody meets online these days."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

'Your website or mine?'

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

Today's love

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

"It must have been fate that brought us together."

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"We met the old fashioned way – online, in a chat room."