Online Daters Gifts

'You enjoy jogging, and you have a flare for the gourmet?...Seriously? You chase cars, and I've seen you eat out of trash cans. You have to be honest on these dating sites, dude!'

Right click for yes...

"You may now kiss the bride."

"I'm looking for someone who werjt23609ui45y7ijopgreop[yt thinks it's cute that cat ran across the keys and I left it in."

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

cuPad

Today's love

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"Everybody meets online these days."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

'Your website or mine?'

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

"We met the old fashioned way – online, in a chat room."

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."

"I don't remember him or the meal or what movie we saw. All I remember is I wore the right jeans."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

Financially Secure Romantic with sufficient fire in belly seeks damsel in distress...