Online Dater Extraordinaire Pillows

Wicked Witch Dating Site

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Right click for yes...

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

"You may now kiss the bride."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

'Long distance romances in the twenty first century.'

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

"I don't remember him or the meal or what movie we saw. All I remember is I wore the right jeans."

'When it said in her profile that she's a cosmo girl, I had something entirely different in mind!'

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

"It all happened so fast. I met him online three years ago."

You looked different during our video chat.

"On the internet nobody knows you're a dog, but in person..."

She's disappointed. Doctor Frankenstein's online dating profile simply says that he's a "body-builder."

Using a social media app to date

'I'm in trouble now, I told this cute little terrier that I was a pedigree and now she wants to see my kennel club papers'

Cupid Co. Valentine's Day Special Offer. For centuries Cupid had a monopoly in the falling in love business. But dating apps were making him obsolete. So he formed a company combining his matchmaking knowledge with online marketing techniques. Perhaps the biggest factor in the enormous success of Cupid Co. is the no questions asked return policy when a customer thinks an item is not as advertised.

"Plenty of fish"

COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'I'm not sure we have a girl with THAT good a sense of humor.'

"I'm looking for a long-distance relationship."

"Your profile says you're a lumberjack, I though they were all big buggers."

Quarandating.

Computer dating.

'To learn more about me, swipe my forehead with your smart phone.'

"Ha ha, I guess my photo on the dating site may have been a little misleading."

'You look exactly like your website.'

"I'm looking for someone who werjt23609ui45y7ijopgreop[yt thinks it's cute that cat ran across the keys and I left it in."

'I know we met on the internet, but stop double clicking that mouse every time you try to make a move.'

"And you're sure this is a recent photo?"

"The bastard told me he was a pilot."

'For a romantic anniversary I thought we'd go back to where we first met.'