Online Adopter Gifts

'I found him on the internet.'

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Pick me!"

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

"Foster failure"

'Ahhh...'

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"They're so adorable at that age!"

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

Foster failure

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

"He's such a fussy eater."

"Be kind"

Raised by Dogs

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

"Sarah has two mommies and both of them are good cooks."

Brad Pitt

"Come on, we've thought of 492 names surely we can get one more"

'We found you in a cabbage!'

'I demand a DNA test.'

'I think it's about time we tell him he's adopted.'

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"Adopted? It's cute how you think we would've picked you."

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

"You're supposed to grow a lot of little ones."

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

"Here's our little bundle of joy."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"That’s ridiculous! What makes you think you were adopted?"

"They look so young and helpless."