New Adoption Gifts

"Mommy, will you please tell us the story about the man who brokered our overseas adoption?!"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

City Zoo: Day Care

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"Actually, make that a double cream."

A young Don King

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

'Ahhh...'

The Baby Walker

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

'I told you it would be useful.'

"Foster failure"

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"They're so adorable at that age!"

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Dog Dreams