New Adoption Gifts

"Mommy, will you please tell us the story about the man who brokered our overseas adoption?!"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

City Zoo: Day Care

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Madonna of the Pukes.

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

"Actually, make that a double cream."

A young Don King

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

'Ahhh...'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

The Baby Walker

'I told you it would be useful.'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

"Foster failure"

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"They're so adorable at that age!"

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

Dog Dreams

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.