Onion Appreciator T-Shirts

'No more beer and onions. The whole village smells to high heaven!'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

Onion Tears

Rap-scallions

"My kid could do that."

Fish mobsters.

Edvard Grieg.

Paving over the window-box

'Ocean sounds won't be heard, so that we may bring you a paid commercial program on offshore investment opportunities.'

"We're out of empanadas!"

Oliverachy - Short-lived political system where leaders were chosen by how many olives they could fit in their mouths.

'Oh boy, the pollen count is going up.'

'It's from the local microbrewery.'

Botanical violinist

'Granted, it's classified as a weed around here, but you have to agree its pollen is delicious...'

Perpetual Motion.

Yes, dear, it's a very good pearl for your first try.

"Enjoy your youth. Soon you'll be an old cynic like me with nothing worth barking at."

'Fresh plumsprunes.'

'The IV needs salt.'

Actually, it's just two wishes after taxes.

'Yummy! I could eat here every day!'

'This is the last time I go golfing with a lumberjack.'

"...and this is my better half...!"

Blooming Idiot

"It's not a new indoor dog-toilet you dummy: It's a bonsai tree..."

"With all that tinkering do you really save time?"

'Fill it up please. I meant the olive bowl.'

"How long have you been a compulsive eater of onions?"

"Where do you see yourself in five potatoes?"

"I understand that curiosity is a good thing in non-cats."