Chicken Appreciator T-Shirts

"I suppose politics would be interesting, but I wouldn't want to go on the rubber chicken circuit."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

The Fourth Little Pig

The Rooster Comedian.

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

'Rollin', rollin', rollin',...keep them dogies rollin'...'

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

A Venus cow trap.

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

Chicken - "The Dow is falling...the dow is falling..."

"I find parrots have a tendency to fly away"

'This race is simply too close to call.'

"I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?"

Seminal moments in Chicken History

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

'It's a kit I found online. I converted the car so it runs entirely on chicken manure.'

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

A bit of Newlyn.

'If you're out and about today don't forget the pith helmet.'

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

"Babies come from WHERE?!"

Penguin lost his appetite because of contaminated fish.

'Who said you could come out of your room?'

Free Range Chickens

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

Chicken Coupe.

'Careful, it's not politically correct to say I rule the roost anymore...'

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

"Spring Chicken"

"Gesundtheit, Dear."