One-up Storytelling Gifts

"That story reminds me of the time I walked on the moon."

6 Brothers Falafel

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

'Who I played in Summer Stock.'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

Creativity

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

"Hang on! - we've possibly go another couple of films left in here!!"

"A homeless person ate my homework."

Witch dice.

Fairy tale

"Start with a Spanish doubloon. Those are always good."

fairy tales

"Whoops - I Accidentally Pressed 'Elevator Pitch.'"

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

Crafty Beer: "I'm making a scrapbook of when you were still fermenting."

"This X-Ray proves conclusively that you don't have a book in you."

'Have you ever thought about doing a children's book?'

'Who else have I written for? Ridge Park Avenue, 7th Street, Elm Road, Thornwood Drive...'

'Thank you for your submission. If we're interested, we'll be in touch.'

'It's a reinterpretation of the 'Christmas Carol'...but with a 'Vampire vs Werewolf' contemporary take on the story.'

'Tech stocks tumbled on news that Alan Greenspan's computer was down.'

"Constructive criticism? It says I can't write my way out of a paper bag, and you call it constructive criticism."

"We have sparkling and still, but I'll have to ask if we have black."

James Cameron