Onboarding Wizard T-Shirts

Speed of assimilation VS New team members

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"We only got six days of funding."

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

'You'll soon get the hang of it - then they'll change it.'

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"Lovely dovetail."

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

Desk trays - 'In', 'Out', and 'It depends'.

'I think it's time to rein in Henderson.'

"It's my intelligence, talent and hard work that have got me to the top."

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

Targets.

Research and Development: Now, Never.

'Should be home soon. I'm just clearing away the usual paperwork.'

In - Out - Pending.

Waiting for retirement.

Stationery Shop

"The team needs LEADERSHIP, anyone have a view on that?"

'My multi-tasking turned into faulty-tasking.'

Traffic Management Strategic Group

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

Man with post it note

IN OUT UP DOWN AND ALL AROUND

"We feel you're over analyzing things a bit too much."