Waiting Wizard T-Shirts

'No, officer, I'm not a homeless beggar. I'm just waiting on my wife while she's shopping.'

La Table

Late BroomStick

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

Waiting for Pants

Texturing the Walls

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

Test your patience, back in one hour.

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

"Victims of out-sorcery."

'Funny, I thought a near-death experience would be different, somehow.'

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

Medical Center.

"I'm making him take a spin class."

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

Dog Walker

"Coffee?! After 20 minutes of waiting, I'm FULLY awake without one."

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'

"Okay brother Bickle, you can keep your underpants on"

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"I had half a date last weekend."

The interminable!

"I can't have the wart removed, I just got the Wicked Witch role in 'Wizard of Oz'."

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

"Wait. Let me have one more try."

"A fire-breathing dragon represents the conflict you have with the Lord of the Manor."