Waiting Wizard Pillows

'No, officer, I'm not a homeless beggar. I'm just waiting on my wife while she's shopping.'

La Table

Late BroomStick

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

Waiting for Pants

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

Texturing the Walls

Test your patience, back in one hour.

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

'Funny, I thought a near-death experience would be different, somehow.'

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

"Victims of out-sorcery."

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

Medical Center.

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"I'm making him take a spin class."

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

"Coffee?! After 20 minutes of waiting, I'm FULLY awake without one."

Dog Walker

"I had half a date last weekend."

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'

"Okay brother Bickle, you can keep your underpants on"

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

The interminable!

"I can't have the wart removed, I just got the Wicked Witch role in 'Wizard of Oz'."

'Have no fear - I'll have the project completed for you in no time.'

"Wait. Let me have one more try."

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'