Ominous Setting Lover Gifts

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

Shepherd and eurydice

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

Couch Potatoes

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

Storage Unit of Love

"Now then Mr Parker - are you relaxed?"

"I'm not 'just sitting here' — my mind is all over the place."

'Las Vegas: What happens here, is a lot less than what was happening here two years ago.'

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

"Well, sometimes I'll just hang around and do nothing. Oh wait, that's all the time."

'You should take one -- you could only improve your hand.'

"Yeah, but the one in Vegas has an endless shrimp buffet."

Welcome to Las Vegas - Forefront of the great American luck ethic.

'My client denies taking any performance-enhancing drugs when she jumped over the moon.'

Drac, I gotta have a better office if I'm gonna market your Tomato Juice.

'Why is so much easy listening so difficult to listen to?'

Patient to therapist: 'How is this supposed to help me stop being a couch potato?'

Getting older is . . . when you start to dress for comfort rather than style.