Olympic Spectator Champion Gifts

'He's put on over two stone watching the Olympics...'

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"I AM at my usual position."

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

Cat medal presentations take a long time

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

For the Wilsons, Gold Medalists Los Angeles '84, bathtime was always a ritual.

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

A convenient attack of swine flu...

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

'Why is laying around watching movies considered cozy, but laying around watching football is considered lazy?'

The Olympic Booze-a-thon.

The London Olympic bid

Honey, can you see the Olympic Village from up there?

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

Referees at the Original Olympics.

Champions biting their medals

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

'We're in luck. Not a word about steroids.'

'I was this close to the finish line and then somebody threw a stick!'

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also beating the spread."

'I only come to the game for the half time entertainment and snack bar privileges.'

Beijing's international Olympic torch flame run.

'Really? -- the official steroid of the 2012 Olympics?'

Pole vaulter has had an accident on jump

Olympic Sabbath Torch.

Octopus in the bleachers.

'Olympic stadium for sale available 2013.'

Oympics 2028 Los Angeles

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

'If netting fish was an Olympic event, Ben would be a sure winner!'