Olympic Avoider Pillows

Good News about winter

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

'Here are the safety manuals you wanted'

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

"I'm exhausted! I've just binge-watched the entire series of 'Fresh Air and Exercise.'"

'You need more excercize. But I'm drinking as fast as I can.'

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

"Why run a marathon when you can sleep through it?"

The Procrastinatorium.

'Your back went out because your front went out.'

'But, dear, I am walking the dog.'

The Sedentary Dead.

Big bumpers.

"I can’t even find the motivation to quit my gym membership."

The doctor told my husband to be active, but the only exercise he gets is running around looking for the TV remote.

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

D.I.Y ladder

New years resolutions

'His electric toothbrush has gone wrong - mind you, he could use the extra exercise.'

"I want you to drink more beer, eat more fatty foods and take less exercise."

"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."