Olfactory Gifts

"Sniff, sniff, NICE! Smells like butt!"

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

In/Out/These Things Happen.

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

Claus 2.0

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

Polluted geese

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

'These are job perks.'

I'm a self-made man!

'Bad news, sir -- there's a leak in our think tank!'

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

How are you at decision making?

National Boss Monument.

Another Turning Point in the Industrial Revolution. Ford Motor Co. On second thought, let's put the cars on the conveyor belt.

Office pics on dinner table.

Motivation to work

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'