Older Family Member Pillows

"I really love grandma and all, but she stinks of vape."

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'Oh, nothing, just babysitting the Lord of the Rings.'

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

Speed Dating.

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'Nothin' beats a wild block party.'

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

'I'll see your diuretic and raise you three anti-depressants.'

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

"You used to be a lot more fun."

Grandpa gets more than he bargained for when his lawnmower takes flight as a helicopter would.

"Forget the palm dearie...I'll read yer race."

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

Patey's in a band! He's so cool!

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."