Elderly Family Members Pillows

"On the bright side, dear, you still rock...just in a different way!"

"It's a very senior moment—he's dead."

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

Speed Dating.

"Careful."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

'I'll see your diuretic and raise you three anti-depressants.'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

"Forget the palm dearie...I'll read yer race."

Grandpa gets more than he bargained for when his lawnmower takes flight as a helicopter would.

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

Toothless Meal

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

'I'm fighting ageing.'

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

"The nurse thinks she's sneaky, but I know my meds are in the peanut butter."

Dino Snack

"The Lord brings people together for reasons only he knows."

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

"And I got these stretch marks on my butt from sitting in the house for months back in 2020."

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'