Old-timey Scenes Fans Gifts

Boy being clever to a woman selling apples

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

Cary Grant

Sorry about the odor --- Phone booths have gone out of style so I had to change in a dumpster.

"and when they woke up, the kids discovered that the house had just one 19", black & white TV that only got... 3 channels."

'Used to be 'Rock around the Clock', now is it 'Limp Around the Block'?'

"Fred and Ginger, but of course not the Fred and Ginger."

"He refuses to watch the NEWs - living as he does, in the past."

'Beat it! I've got a computer!'

'But, Marshal, if I'da built the gallows any higher, ol' Mad Dog here mighta got seriously hurt!'

'Funny, it usually works OK after you've given it a hefty kick.'

Tarzan hate C.G.I.

"Sorry, I double-booked. This wouldn't happen if I had a computer - but they insist we do everything by hand."

Workers constructing barcodes

Information Superhighway to Rio...Starring Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, Dorothy LaMour.

TV Set

The Epsom Derby - Beer Stall

Church in the year 2035.

"I'm nostalgic for the print media."

'Last night I had a weird dream. It was in old wide screen cinemascope and technicolor and Charleston Heston wasn't in it.'

"How about that? Is Cruz a collector?"

'The announcer said 'don't touch that dial'... What's a dial?'

"Come in, I've been expecting you..."

'Of all the lemonade joints in all the world....'

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary - Digitally Mixed - Any drink stirred without the use of a spoon, swizzle stick or any other tool/utensil.

'This is so old-school.'

General Store: We Now Carry Items!

'Since I stopped using the chalk board in favor of the overhead projector, there have been no eraser fights.'

"I know my business - don't bother me with fads."

"What makes you think Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and all that bunch are so happy?"

'Switch me to the cheap stuff when I start talking with my W. C. Fields voice.'

"You can keep your fancy cell phone. As for me, I'll avoid all that extra effort and do things the old-fashioned way."

Mr. Garland and Kit

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary: Mouse Pad - What a particularly groovy boy mouse brings a really far-out girl mouse back to at the end of the night.