Old-school Navigator Gifts

'No you don't get a map reading badge for knowing how to turn on a GPS!'

'I assmue your GPS is not working.'

'Exit left in 300 yards.'

'I used to give directions by naming all the pubs along the route - I'm as lost as you are now!'

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Man stood by signpost to 'here' or 'there'.

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

Man on Snowdon with GPS system - "I'd be lost without it."

The Fast Lane.

The Lost World: You are Here

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

"Boy, that's what I call a maze."

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

Lost around a military base.

'Typical man - why can't he just ask for directions?'

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

Department of Nanotechnology

Recalculating!

"I told you, if you're looking for a road map for your life, that's all you're gonna get."

"Look on the GPS to see if there's any wormholes through time and space."

"Wouldn't it be easier to have sat nav fitted?"

"Go about a foot and take a right, then it's the second left, no, no ... the third left, then straight …"

"We seem to be going round in circles!"

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

Nethead strip: Speak binary

"The computer's messed up? How time flies! Seems only yesterday you couldn't program the VCR!"

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

GPS verses Map and Compass - Lost or Found?

'Oh, relax. Stopping to ask how to use the GPS does not violate the male decree against asking directions.'

'Well, dammit, I say he should stop and ask someone!'