Old House Lover T-Shirts

'...And a free set of tools goes with it.'

Cocktails on the verandah.

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

The Missing Sock Returns

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

Military Medals

Early Piety

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

'Jerry's 'old school'.'

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

'I know I complimented you on that outfit last time you wore it, but that was in 1980.'

Opening the Barrel

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"I always thought of my childhood home as being larger."

Open House of Horrors

Swells - Men's Fashion

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

DIY enthusiasts find a time portal behind their old wallpaper

Notice: this dress will be out of style by January 2009.

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

"Everybody meets online these days."

'Oi son, you're not going out dressed like that.'

Pick me! 2002 was a very good year! No! Me! I'm excellent with beef and fish. Desperate House Wines.

Girl's hair comes unfastened as a dance is about to begin

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."