Antique Lover T-Shirts

'And exactly where did you find the 'antique salami slicer'?'

Lascar Woman in Whitechapel Opium Den

Keeping Warm in the Highlands

"I'm sorry we don't restore antiques."

"I think my grandmother might have married him and brought him home after the war, since then he's just been sat by the fire..."

'Undamaged, it would have been worth a small fortune...'

"I've got an extremely rare Dusty Springfield."

"Oh yeah, if it weren't for Antiques Roadshow we would have been out on the street long ago."

"It being too far gone, we chucked it on the scrap heap, and knowing how much it meant to your dear old dad, we've ordered you a brand new sparkling reproduction."

Post Office Counters

A suit of armour

"Anything catching your eye? Maybe one of my tia's antique perfume bottles? Or this rare cheese grater owned by one of Ricky Martin's entourage? Always a snappy icebreaker."

"Your father's family brought that vase over on the Mayflower. You're lucky it wasn't new!"

"What books? I haven't seen any books."

National Pottery Live

'Why is it that the weirder and older something is, the more it's worth?'

Queen Anne

Removal men.

Armor Auction: Rust in peace.

'No, I wouldn't advise you to put it into the auction. I'd advise you to put it in the bin.'

His & her bathrooms, circa 1860

My own museum.

"This confirms that the Babylonians interfered with the Egyptian elections."

"Surrey Antiques, there's something odd about the lamp you sold me."

Sketches by Boz - Ticket Office at Coach Station

"I just love these genuine old tapestries on the walls, with their medieval calm. Oh, my—is that a Roycroft lamp?!"

Cocktails on the verandah.

The Missing Sock Returns

Second hand furniture.

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

Military Medals

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

Early Piety

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'A Ball at the Mansion House'