Haunted House Lover T-Shirts

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

Open House of Horrors

Ghost carriage.

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'He likes to power nap.'

'One eye of newt or two?'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

Out To Lurch

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

Trick or Tweet

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

Punkins

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

Zombie pet tricks.

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

'I don't think you quite grasp our overall motif.'

Sir Desmond Murgatroyd

"Frank, I want you to try antidepressants."

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

Scary Halloween ICD-10 codes.

"Oh, Him? That's our IT guy."