Haunted House Lover Pillows

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

Open House of Horrors

Ghost carriage.

'The pink squirrel's okay, but you gotta try the fuzzy navel.'

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

'He likes to power nap.'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'One eye of newt or two?'

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

Out To Lurch

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

'Awesome mummy costume!' 'I'm a pirate! Some kids just TPed me...'

"Eye of pie...a**e of rat...p**s of newt."

Trick or Tweet

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

"Harry?... Is that you?"

Punkins

Zombie pet tricks.

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

He snuck in on me again, didn't he.

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

'I don't think you quite grasp our overall motif.'

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

"Frank, I want you to try antidepressants."

Sir Desmond Murgatroyd