Oil Painting Aficionado T-Shirts

'That's the problem with living with an artist, the fruitbowl is always off...'

Mona Lisa Laughs At Viewer

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

"Perhaps in my next life I'll be a jpeg."

"Stop complaining and smile! It's a job, isn't it? NO wonder they call you Mona!"

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

Hazards of mouse painting

"My method of painting is pointillism."

A Christmas tree self portrait

Car Breast-Feeding

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

"I think I know where the passion in our marriage has gone."

Artist Retrospective.

"This artist's very successful. And he's not even dead."

Eugene Delacroix

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

J. M. W. Turner

Alberto Giacometti.

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

Got suspicious after he asked to see a recent picture and she sent over an oil painting.

'...and you can wash that pea-green crap off - I want Magnolia.'

'Is that a copyright symbol?'

'I started out as a sculptor, but I kept hitting my thumb.'

'You never smile at me like that!'

Queuing for a Turner, Whistle, Monet exhibition in the rain - 'Atmospheric, isn't it?'