Oil Painting Aficionado Gifts

'That's the problem with living with an artist, the fruitbowl is always off...'

Mona Lisa Laughs At Viewer

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

Diego Rivera, Frida Kahlo, and the Art of Conversation

"Perhaps in my next life I'll be a jpeg."

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

"Stop complaining and smile! It's a job, isn't it? NO wonder they call you Mona!"

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

"I don't know what happened, your holiness! I painted the ENTIRE CEILING!"

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

"My method of painting is pointillism."

A Christmas tree self portrait

Hazards of mouse painting

Car Breast-Feeding

"'Talent borrows, genius steals' - that's one of mine, too."

"I think I know where the passion in our marriage has gone."

Artist Retrospective.

Two New Paintbrushes

J. M. W. Turner

Eugene Delacroix

"This artist's very successful. And he's not even dead."

Goopco Oil Co. What a party! They're having a contest to see who the crudest oil molecule is!

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

Alberto Giacometti.

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

Got suspicious after he asked to see a recent picture and she sent over an oil painting.

'Is that a copyright symbol?'

'...and you can wash that pea-green crap off - I want Magnolia.'

"Landscapes are nice but have considered painting still lifes?...maybe apples?"

The Worst Date Ever

Virgin Olive Oil. Not-Virgin-But-Has-A-Heart-Of-Gold Olive Oil.