Oil Baron Gifts

'Never underestimate the value of pipe-dreams, my son.'

King of oil

'Your sponsored child and his family used your monthly support to dig a new village well. Instead of water they struck oil - and are now wealthy beyond your wildest dreams.'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

"To join OPEC you must be a country and filthy rich in oil."

"Mr. Thomaston's people are here to talk to your people."

BP Waiter: Dinner is served!

"The Oaths of the Venture Capitalists."

Hot Towel Web Service

"We're a hedge fund, Mr Marney, so I'm putting your allocation at 30% stocks, 30% bonds, and 40% bushes."

"Take no notice, Blendie, it's just Brent, being his usual, crude..."

"A man's cubicle is his castle—eh, chief?"

Acme Petroleum, since 1925 and 9/10.

'Relax. I've come for your high yield 30 year Treasury bonds. They're about to expire.'

'The very name 'windfall profits' show it's an act of god.'

'Can I get a Chardonnay over dry ice? I hate it when my wine gets wet.'

The Oil of Iran

'Sir, we've drilled so deep this time that we've reached Arab oil.'

"It's non-negotiable."

Eldon Furse - Cattle Baron and Flag Waver

"How many times have I told you not to play mechanic under the car."

'Sure, I'll come on board for five-hundred times your average worker's wage, plus double that in stock options, and unlimited use of the corporate jet. Also free postage.'

If they sentence me, I'll simply pay to refurbish the penitentiary. It will be my own little six star hotel!

Iranian Oil

falling oil prices bargain barrel

Black is back!

Expensive oil.

"This one says he's his company's lead-off man."

Agricultural Businessman.

"Petro-dollars do not grow on trees, my son."

Less than worthless!

'Forty beers please, oh, and if a woman called Beau Peep calls, tell her you never saw us.'