Offshore Banking Gifts

"We have half your money in bonds and annuities, the other half under an oak tree in the Caymans."

"You and your offshore accounts!"

British savings accounts

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

Mario Draghi

Spot the difference.

"What's a debenture?"

Guy has framed 'first Yuan'

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

E.U. Banking Union.

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

European currency on the edge.

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

A Day In The Kitchen

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

You can breed these if the environment is right.

"No, I'm not really a CEO. I just like to keep up with the Joneses."

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Money Bar.

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

'I know you're looking for a safe investment but have you ever heard of anyone getting wealthy investing in a bank account?'

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'