Office Whiz T-Shirts

'This is a very dysfunctional company. No one will talk aboaut about the elephant in the boardroom!'

"I can see you and I'm still too busy."

'He's a whiz at everything he does. I suspect he may be on some performance enhancing drugs!'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Staff support"

Out and In.

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Multi-tasking.

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

"You were right. Building an online business empire is even more fun than playing games."

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

'My dog ate my computer.'

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

"The results are impressive, but it'll be decades before we can transmit and receive pornography."

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"I love the fact that you're a computer genius, Erwin. I just don't like fact that you look like one."

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

'Keep asking for more allowance. It's good practice for negotiating future stock and option grants.'

Computer making faces behind owner's back.

'Those are my twins: NASDAQ and Dow. They were born at the height of the dot.com boom.'

"What's that you're reading?"

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

I've always been slower than computers...

Teacher's Inbox: In One Ear/Out The Other